No Return


In one moment, seized, taken, sucked

Dry of each sensation

In one moment, it happened

In a heartbeat, we changed

                                          everything.

You changed,

                                          everything changed.

No return

No moments left

Nothing left to salvage

Move on

Live on

And Yet…

                Not only did Time ravage

                                    My Soul

                                    Your Soul – if you truly

                                                       Possess one.

                                     Our Souls??

No reasons why or wherefore

No longer here or there to care for.

29th August 2007

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29th August 2007


So far…and yet so short a distance

Have we come

We, who knew the rules yet broke them

We, upon our own insistence

robbed them of their

                         Hope.

 

So near….and yet, so far

Have you travelled

You, who taught me how to love

You, upon whom my heart

                           my trust

                                                              depended

Robbed me of all

                                                 Hope.

 

And now  –   I am alone.

Alone, with me, myself

And I , who knew the rules and yet

                                         broke them

I, still have no home

                 no respite

Robbed Them of their 

                                           Hopes.

Knowing


He knew everything about Her

                          Although She knew Nothing

                                                 about Him.

He had read

    then reread

            Her Soul.

He hath opened a ‘Door’ I don’t

know how to close now

 

She looked at her Past – and Forgave

                                                Herself

                                               (Them?)

                                                  No.

                                               Herself

We cannot ‘blame’ others for our own feelings,

thoughts, associations.

                 Noone was ‘wrong’

                 It’s just how things are.

                 How Life ‘is’

 

         THE FINAL ACCEPTANCE? …. Perhaps….

The Gate to my soul 29/12/06


Down

Down

Deep beneath the outer coil

All

Raped, Pillaged, Spoiled.

                            Soiled.

I turn to the Light

Glimmers alone of which I see

I follow the Path

Is this Light leading me…?

 

Deep

Deep

Down  in the Caverns below

Tight

Knotted, rotted, garotted,

I start to pull

Fingers scrabbling in vain

I wish to ease

This persistent , numbing Pain.

 

Deep Down,

Ahead I see the Gate…

Covered in brambles and briars…

 

               Scrabble again I must

But now I know,

                     It is not too late.

The Keeper of My Gate


So

 

Let’s be kind

Let’s sit right back and wait

Let’s hesitate.

                         But not too long.

                         Sing your song

Before its too late.

 

So

Let’s pacify

Or attempt to try

Bite not the hand that feeds

Or stem the heart that bleeds

Let not them hear you cry.

 

I may not have the key, just yet

Gently, gently, treat the wound

with care,

Lest we should forget,

Finally we will reach there

 

Cerberus…Admit Only One….

Metamorphosis


                      No Escape for me.

From blindless pedantry.

Alone, Alone

                              I grope my pointless way

Inside, I die

                          With each and every day

Condense these thoughts

Encapsulate the Grief

Metamorphosis

Some sense of Relief

           No Life for me.

In senseless Sobriety.

More, Much More

                    Than I even need I want for Me.

What is it for?

This Life they gave to me?

Unfurled Soul 29/12/2006


                  The Soul unfurls upon the open

                                                                 page

 

 

The Past explodes in Silent Rage

Tearing                                    Smashing

Pulling                                      Crashing

Ripping                                    Demolishing

       Me                                                      My

        Apart                                                  Heart

 

My Life unfurls like an open book

Forced to spectate, I take a look

What will I find

                           Must I see

What others maybe saw in me…

Me.

 

Who I am that cannot take

A moment here, in Time, to wake

To breathe

To live

To touch this Earth

I.

 

I am the spawn of my own Birth.

Spew me forth

Entrails exposed

Seeking what, noone knows.

I am a Thing, born of Her blood

Who never I knew

                          Now perhaps I should

Destroy my Soul

Demolish my Whole

                        Being again

                     is what we seek

And ye shall find

                       that which ye crave

But the journey is long

                  T’wixt Cradle to Grave…

Yearning

Burning

To Return from whence I came

So I may sojourn

At Last

In Peace

Within My Soul.

My Self, My Being, Finally, Whole.

 

So rip from me, page by sodden page

Extract from me, this Silent Painful Rage

Drops of the Past stain the story below

The Blood of those who feel that I should

‘Know.’

What must I know?

Claim back my Right

To Breathe

To Live again

Eradicate the burning, relentless, Endless Pain.

 

How could they know

Just what they did to me

Or how it feels simply

Being

Me.

 

I think I know

The ball must move, and then,

I can slowly build

Become my

Self

                           Again.